


Where I Fall

by Rays



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, M/M, alternate season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rays/pseuds/Rays
Summary: An Eliot from a different timeline might be the only way to save Eliot from the monster but when the times comes, will Quentin do what needs to be done?





	Where I Fall

"There has to be something else!”

“Q, I’m sorry, but there isn’t.”

“No, no, there’s another way, we just have to keep looking-”

“There is no other way,” Julia’s voice was unwavering. The way it sounded when she was telling him the truth, the cold, awful truth. Looking around the living room of the fancy penthouse apartment that felt too nice for him to call his home, Quentin saw the others couldn’t meet his eyes. Alice had tears in her eyes.  _ Alice _ .

“No,” Quentin said, his voice beginning to shake. “This won’t save Eliot; we’re not doing it!” The silence in the room felt like a physical blow that left Quentin breathless, he finally looked to Margo who was sitting by herself, staring into the fire with a look of rage that Quentin had never seen.

“Margo?” he pleaded. “Tell them.” When Margo looked at him, Quentin’s breath caught in his throat. Staring back at him wasn’t the strong and fierce Margo he knew. The months of trying to find a solution, of having to see Eliot paraded about by that  _ thing _ , had worn something down in her that Quentin hadn’t realized could be worn down.

“Quentin-” He felt the bile rise in the back of his throat. Margo’s tone sounded more final than Julia’s had been and he couldn’t hear it from her. Not from her.

“No,” He was standing before he realized. His knee knocked into the coffee table and the drink Josh was trying to force on him fell to one side, spilling over everything. Kady snatched the book from the poison room up before it could get wet and Quentin wished for the book to burn instead. “No, not you too Margo. Not  _ fucking  _ you.” She stood slowly, her fingers wound tightly around themselves. The grief in her was so palpable that the others looked away.

“Do you honestly think I would ever give up on Eliot?” She asked, her voice low and her jaw clenched as if speaking was causing her pain. “That I wouldn’t do  _ anything  _ to save him?”

“Then why?” Quentin asked, his voice whittled down to a whisper in the face of her pain. “We can keep looking.” There was the smallest shake of Margo’s head like a full denial would be a betrayal, and she took a small step forward.

“There is nothing else Q,” she said. “And Eliot would never want to be used like that  _ thing  _ is using him. Killing all those people, possibly bringing on the end of the fucking world.” Her voice began to waver and she snapped her mouth shut. Her eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears as they bore into Quentin. Her chin quivered just the slightest and Josh took a step towards her. Margo’s eyes went to him and she conveyed something Quentin didn’t understand, but Josh nodded and stayed where he was.

“If we can’t save Eliot,” Margo said, her voice steady again. “We make sure that fucking monster burns for what it did.” And there it was, the last bit of hope dying right in front of Quentin’s eyes. Eliot was gone and there was no way to save him. 

Falling back onto the couch, Quentin could feel himself begin to go numb all over. Starting in his toes and fingertips, racing through his limbs and filling his entire body. Everyone watched him with worry etched on their faces, and Quentin wondered if he would die right here in front of all of them. If the pain of losing Eliot, for the  _ second goddam time _ , could actually kill him on the spot. He wanted to close his eyes, give in to the pain,  _ just fucking die already _ , but he was so frozen he couldn’t even control that.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Marina’s voice wasn’t filled with grief and regret like the others. Instead, she sounded annoyed at the situation. “There is something you can do.” She was standing in the kitchen, farthest away from everyone, mixing another drink for herself and she raised an eyebrow to all the faces now turned her way.

“What would that be?” Kady asked, her voice laced with just barely controlled contempt. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t the same Marina that Kady had known, Kady’s anger didn’t work like that.

“Simple,” Marina tossed an olive into the martini she’d made and shrugged her shoulders. “Get an Eliot from a different timeline and use him. Your Eliot lives and poor sad Eliot from a shitty timeline will probably be put out of his misery. Everybody wins.” She brought the glass to her lips and sipped her drink as if she’d just told them all about an annoying day at the office. No one spoke for a few moments, and Quentin could feel the numbness begin to retreat.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Penny was the first one to speak up, the only one aside from Marina herself, that could speak as someone from a different timeline. Quentin watched him, knowing that he wouldn’t but wanting Penny to agree. Quentin wanted so badly for this glimmer of hope, even if he knew it was fucked up, but if Penny would just say it would work then maybe he could begin to move again. “Just  _ use  _ someone from a different timeline? That’s your solution? Really?”

“What?” Marina asked setting her glass down. “The spell calls for the blood of the host. Someone from a different timeline would have the same blood. He’d be a perfect match.”

“So just because he’s from a different timeline his life doesn’t matter?” Penny moved closer to her as he spoke. Julia’s hand reached out to him, but he was too far from her grasp. “You of all people are suggesting this?” Marina shrugged again, not seeing the significance of what Penny was trying to convey. That somehow, her being from a different timeline was supposed to make her sympathetic to the plight of other timeline versions of the people she didn’t care about. Instead of being horrified by this, Quentin was relieved.

“Yeah, I’m suggesting it,” Marina said, a hand going to her hip. “You want a way to save your friend, there it is. Sorry, it’s not ponies and rainbows but it’s the only way the Eliot you all know has the slightest chance.” She downed the rest of her drink and an uneasy silence fell over the room. Quentin looked around, trying to read the faces of everyone, hoping someone would speak up in favor of this who wasn’t Marina. 

“It might work.” Alice was the first one to speak. Quentin felt something clench in his chest, something that could have been affection if things between them weren’t so sullied by bitterness and betrayal. “We would have to make a few changes to the spell, but it could work.” She looked at Quentin now, sitting up a little straighter and defiantly putting herself on his side. On  _ Eliot’s  _ side.

“You know it must be really easy for you guys,” Penny snorted, his arms crossed as he glared around the room. “The other versions of yourselves don’t have a say; they don’t actually matter, do they?” Julia looked like she was going to say something, but it was Kady who stepped forward.

“You know something  _ 23 _ ,” Kady said her hard gaze settling on him in a way that Quentin was glad she’d never looked at him. “The only reason you’re here, getting to be part of our little group and getting more chances to sniff around Julia-” Julia ducked her face away and Penny looked embarrassed. “It’s all because our Penny,  _ my Penny _ , died. So don’t go making yourself out as some saint who isn’t getting something out of a dead version of themselves.” 

Kady slammed the book on the counter and left the room without another word. Before disappearing down the hall, she glanced Quentin’s way. He knew in that one look that Kady was on board with this plan. Quentin’s heart sped up with a sick feeling of excitement and he once again pushed the thought of how fucked up this was to the other side of his brain.

“How would we even get a different timeline Eliot?” Julia asked, watching Penny carefully but also digging for more information. 

“The last time we used the key,” Josh spoke up. He’d been making his way closer to Margo who was turned away from everyone, standing completely still with her arms wrapped around herself. “How are we supposed to do it without the key?” Quentin looked to Marina but he was met with a shrug instead.

“Don’t look at me,” she said tucking a bottle of rum under her arm and before heading towards the door. “I had the idea; you guys figure it out.” She left without looking back and the door slammed behind her. Quentin looked back at Julia; the drop of her eyes told him everything. She didn’t think this would work, not without the key. 

“There’s a spell,” Alice said her hands folding nervously in her lap. “It’s complicated and it won’t last long so you’ll have to get him quick, but there is a way to do this.”

“I can’t believe this,” Penny muttered as he stormed out of the room. Julia stood to follow him, but turned to Quentin instead,

“You would be willing to do this?” 

“Is there really no other way?” Quentin asked, his voice shaking from fear and that sick dread of hope. “Or do you have even the slightest idea of some other way that doesn’t end with Eliot dead and gone forever?” Julia dropped her gaze and Quentin had his answer. She said nothing and quickly went off to find Penny.

“Margo?” Josh whispered her name, his hand moving to the small of her back. She hadn’t moved once during this whole discussion. Still facing away from everyone, she held herself so tight that she was almost vibrating from her suppressed rage.

“Margo,” Quentin was more desperate in his tone when he spoke, He knew he couldn’t do this without her on his side. He also knew Eliot would never forgive him for going against her wishes. “Should we do this?” Margo turned slowly, her face set, hiding the real pain of her emotions. 

“Would this actually save him?” She spoke through clenched teeth; her entire body was working overtime to keep it all inside. “Or would we end up with two dead Eliot’s on our hands?” Quentin swallowed thickly; he hadn’t thought about that. What if this didn’t work? How much worse could they really fuck this up?

“It’s never been done, so we can’t be sure,” Alice said standing up and facing Margo. “But this is the only chance. If we don’t do it, then Eliot is dead anyway.” Margo closed her eyes and tears spilled down her cheeks. Quentin sagged back down to the couch. He knew what Margo’s answer would be before she spoke and the enormity of the situation hit him all at once.

“We’re doing it.”

*************************************

Quentin blew out a puff of smoke as he stared down at the city below him. His hair blew across his face and he flicked the cigarette away. The Monster was back, so all talk about their latest plan was put on hold until the next day. The Monster was attempting to cook something and Josh stood nervously nearby. Quentin wasn’t sure if it was the Monster's presence that made Josh so nervous or what it was doing to  _ his kitchen _ . Quentin couldn’t handle it, not after everything that happened tonight. He needed some space from that thing, even just for a cigarette. 

“I thought you were going to quit.” Quentin turned to see Julia stepping outside and slid the door shut. 

“I’ve heard you say the same thing,” she smiled and came to stand next to him. For a moment she said nothing. Just looked out at the night sky with an almost peaceful look on her face. Quentin wondered if it was the goddess thing, but Julia was so calm these days. She had somehow become this steady ship in the night while Quentin felt like the waves crashing and churning against the rocks, unable to be still.

“Q, are you sure about this?” She finally asked the question he knew she would. “Are you really prepared to do this to Eliot?” She faced him now and Quentin felt the need to go on the defensive rise up inside him.

“I’m doing to this  _ for  _ Eliot,” he argued. “You said it yourself; there is no other way.” Julia nodded and reached for his hand. Patience poured out of her and Quentin felt resentful for few seconds,

“I know,” she said. “I just really want you to think about this. Because, even though he’s from a different timeline, he is still Eliot. And this spell-you know what we have to do.” A chill went down Quentin’s spine. The spell that would lock away the monster forever felt burned into his mind. Knowing that this could happen to Eliot, to _ his  _ Eliot, was all he had been thinking about for the past few hours.

“I know.” He whispered. Julia searched his face, her fingers curling around his hand. She reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes and finally smiled.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Then I will help you, whatever that means, you have me on your side.” Quentin didn’t know until the words came out of her mouth how much he needed to hear them. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her touch. 

“Tomorrow, I’ll distract the Monster with more research,” Julia suggested. “That will give you and Alice time to talk to Dean Fogg. Alice knows the spell; she just needs the details from him.” Relief finally filled Quentin and he found himself smiling for the first time since the spell to get rid of the monster was first brought up. For the first time, Quentin felt like this could actually work. 

“Thank you,” he said. Julia smiled and then leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

“I love you Q,” 

“I love you too,” She gave his hand one more squeeze before going back inside. Quentin watched her until she disappeared up the stairs. Turning back to look out at the city, Quentin let out a sigh and finally thought that it was time to get some sleep.

“You’re in love with him.” Spinning around, Quentin found Penny standing there as if he’d appeared out of nowhere and probably had.

“What?” Quentin asked, trying not to look as surprised as he was. 

“Eliot,” Penny stepped closer and Quentin could see the pained expression on his face.

“I don’t know what-” 

“I  _ know _ ,” Penny said, his eyes narrowing a bit and Quentin shifted uncomfortably where he stood. He had never mentioned it to anyone. He didn’t even know how to say it to himself. After Eliot turned him down, he had pushed those thoughts deep inside him, determined to get over it to salvage any degree of friendship with him. But now, with the monster wearing Eliot’s face, it was the only thing he could think about.

“You’re not going to change my mind,” Quentin said, straightening his shoulders out and deciding to be determined at this moment instead of shrinking into the depths of his insecurities.

“I know,” Penny said and then something in his face softened. “I just want you to understand that it’s not going to be easy, especially if you’re in love with him.” 

“I never said this was going to be a walk in the park,” Quentin said rolling his eyes. 

“You don’t get it,” Penny scoffed. “This other him will look like him-”

“Yeah, I get that,” Quentin snapped, his eyes traveling over Penny’s shoulder to the thing that looked like Eliot as he held out a bowl for Josh to inspect. 

“Not like that,” Penny said bringing Quentin’s attention back to the conversation. “That  _ thing  _ may be in Eliot’s body, but that’s not Eliot. The Eliot you bring here though, it will be him in ways you can’t understand until he is standing right in front of you.” Penny’s eyes suddenly became clouded and Quentin could see the pain that was there. The pain that comes after losing everyone, including the love of your life. Sometimes he forgot this wasn’t their Penny. Quentin’s stomach clenched because just that thought proved Penny’s point.

“I can’t lose him,” he whispered in defense. “I have to try.”

“I get it,” Penny said and Quentin knew he did. “Just be prepared.” Without another word, Penny turned away and went back inside. Quentin was alone again and the feeling of almost clarity he’d just experienced was gone. Now fear was creeping its way back in. What the hell had he agreed too? 

Tapping on the window snapped him out of his thoughts and there was Eliot’s face smiling back at him. The monster waved two fingers at him in its childlike manner and he motioned for Quentin to come back inside. 

Sometimes Quentin felt like if he squinted he could almost see Eliot through all of that, could almost pretend Eliot was still here. Then he would notice the blood on whatever shirt the monster was wearing now and Quentin would remember. Eliot was trapped in there. He was waiting for Quentin to save him. It didn’t matter how; he was going to save Eliot.  _ His Eliot. _

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before the end of season 4 and planned for it to be my next big adventure. It's been sitting here for months and I finally decided to post it. I can't say when I will update because I don't feel ready to really come back yet but I am proud of what I wrote and want to share. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
